this n that...

flicked this off J's..enjoy! while i go recollecting nuggets of wickedness for my next post on fuzzy's tag... hmm...

50. Have you ever saved someone’s life or had your life saved?
V and I are going to marry each other. so, yes to both.

51. Make up a definition for the following silly words -
Fruitgoogle: throwing fruit at google when it doesn't come up with a satisfactory answer to d silly question u asked.
Ambytime: what i don't get anymore. my fren 'amby' has disowned me.
Asscactus: condition that occurs when u sit unknowingly on the nearest support in a desert.

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?
a Painting for D.

53. What was your favorite toy as a child?
My Barbie Doll cat. it was gifted to me on my 7th b'day. and I still have it safe at home in India.

54. How many TVs are in your house?
one. we're poor people. also, we don't watch tv.

55. What is your favorite thing to do outside?
Walk in the sun and sing aloud!

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow?
happy & dreamy. simultaneously :)

57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true?
i don't think so.However, of d dreams i dream with open eyes, some come true... some i forget.

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader?
naah. wanna try one someday. but i think i need a shrink more.

59. What is your idea of paradise?
it's kind of all-in-d-mind...

60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like?
Like some really cute old man,just like Santa who has all the answers to the questions I have for him once I meet him( you know how I am with qs rt?)

61. Do you believe in Hell?
d concept? i like it.

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven’t?
QC'ed bhojpuri content for decency - visuals and songs.

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?
i don't do kind things. really. if it happens, it's probably coz i see the need. then it's not kindness anymore.

64. Are you a patient person?
yeah. unless u're stupid. *and i'm working on that. my patience, not ur stupidity.*

65. What holiday should exist but doesn’t?
there're already more holidays than reqd. weekends shud be the only holidays.

66. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does?
oh wow! how many shud i name!?

67. What’s the best joke you ever heard?
an ex-client's out-of-office reply was this:
"Hi, I am not in the office till ___. For issues, please call or SMS. But remember, you HAVE the right to remain silent! Thanks."

68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been?
Anchi-D's house,I really enjoy like a child taken to a park!

69. Is your hair natural or dyed?
Natural

70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?
no deep dark secrets. if they're deep & secret, i'd probably forget them!

71. What is under your bed right now?
a sleeping bag, 2 storage boxes and 2 empty bags.

72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home?
i wud want the option of returning if i didn't like it.

73. If you drive do you frequently speed?
No. as in, as of now, i don't drive. if i did, i wudn't speed.

74. What is the world’s best song to dance to?
how can there be one? currently, I think Kevin Little's tracks are good!

75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone?
Some Spanish song

76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers?
DISNEY!

77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo?
d snow leopard. i love them. i want one.

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?
Ask V!

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off?
wow! i hope so...!

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it?
nothing. i'll find something else that i love to do.

81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick?
d right to judge people. *if that's a right!*

82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole?
Equator, or thereabouts.

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television?
the idiot box.

84. What do you think makes someone a hero?
a good marketing strategy and effective communication skills.

85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in?
Not a cartoon person

86. Name one thing that turns your stomach:
public restrooms.

87. What was the last thing you paid for?
chips Ahoy!!!!!!!!.

88. Is there magic even in mundane things?
sure there is!

89. Get anything good in the mail recently?
yeah. Poor's mail today made me feel nice :)

90. Which would you rather take as a gym class:dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling?
Gym, of course, I need it these days!!

91. In Star Trek people beam back and forth between different places. Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends?
No. it's almost a clone. check galadriel for technical explanation! :D

92. What insects are you afraid of?
all. mostly, acid bugs.

93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say?
"here comes sunshine"

94. What’s the most eccentric thing you have ever worn?
hipsters, a belly dancer scarf and a choli. *long, long ago.*

95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be?
Ukadiche modaaaak( a typical Maharashtrian delicacy) and/or cheesecake.

96. What are your parents interested in?
ensuring that my Sis and I have happy, fulfilling lives.

97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?
Why do people do that...?

Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal?
i'm a city-gurl. but wud love to.

98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans?
a healthy blend of both.

99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest?
when i'm passionate about what i'm doing. could be anything.

100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring?
sleeping bag, insect repelling light *charged AND with spare, charged batteries* and d iPod.

p.s.: i don't know y it's numbered like this. it's bothering me. but i'm too lazy to change it now.

Easy ,eh?Yeah Right!

I have a predicament. actually, it's more of a realization. now, if u've been following this blog for a while, u'd know that i recently *a year ago* learnt to cook ,I mean like a full fledged cook,like my Mom. Before u shudder or move on directly to the comments section and say something smart-alecky.. THAT is not the problem! the problem, however, is this. I screw up the simplest dishes. picture this: 6 people coming over for dinner. last minute notice. I can manage to cook appetizers, main course and of course, we buy the desert! *what did u think, I was superwoman!?* but the point is I usually manage to cook decently enough for whoever's eating to help themselves to seconds. and sometimes ask me how I cooked it,and trust me, I quite pride myself on such occasions! *i also brag about it to Vineeta/Mona.. whoever I find online.* I'm not overtly fond of cooking, but I manage. then, after a couple of days of eating "rich" food, when the tummy wants a simple meal. umm... I screw it up! meals as simple as daal/chawal *not the chawal, I screw up the daal(varraan)*, tomato chutney, or even the wretched boiled aloo sabzi! i can make kick-ass palak paneer, but boiled aloo ki traditional maharashtrian sabzi? oh gosh! i KNOW how to cook these. trust me, my mom and my entire family memebers who give me recipes now and then, thot that these wud be the only things i'd be cooking. *d rest of them cudn't imagine me cooking. still can't.* and there I am! proving them wrong all over again! I tried following recipes *which, has never worked for me*, I tried going with the flow and cooking it as I cook other food. naah, not working. I even tried reading mom's recipe and doing everything the same way and STILL screwed it up! what is it!? and this is supposed to be easy-to-cook, u know! i remember my aunt once saying, 'if someone's coming over unannounced for dinner, just boil those potatoes and cook it up. simplest thing to make'. *me hass a looong puppy face as i write this.* it's like "beti ko chai banaana toh aata hi hoga?" DAMN! wrong example. i can't make tea either! well, I am a coffee drinker! Also, after a while V (who is in looooooooove with "his perfect" tea) makes it himself,so that's not really an issue! but d point is, WHY are these allegedly simple dishes SO complicated for me?! and why is it that i manage perfectly well with everything that's supposedly complicated? i think Pur was right... my brains ARE in my pinkie toe! :( i wish i cud figure out how not to screw this up. either that, or how to not feel guilty when i screw it up. oh, wait! i already know that!

Plus Five

M tagged me to do the 5 things abt me... and considering she's blogged after all these months only to tag me, i shall do it. also, it indulges the vain me! :D so, here's 5 things abt me, in no particular order of importance. - i expect a lot from ppl who I'm really close to. but it's never more than what I would do for the person. it's almost always 50-50. though, the closer you are to me, the more I tend to take u for granted. sure u'll know how much you mean to me. but i expect you to u'stand when i disappear for a while... and re-emerge. i expect you to continue where we left off. and not sulk and whine. i also give you the same space. and if i do anything to upset you, i WILL make up for it. however best i can. At the same time I am creative by default.. it can be a pain in the --- for V ..because I do expect something new most of the times.. especially from him.I am ok with monotony but when I am tired its about time you start doing as I do ..which can be tiring for a person like him who does not really care about the creativity to that extend. - i believe that all of us, as humans, are extremely selfish. we evaluate pros and cons of most situations and if we think something may be detrimental for us, we avoid it. there are exceptions. but very few act out of their love for random mankind. we bother about "me and mine" mostly. and i don't think it is a wrong thing. i accept the fact that i am self-absorbed and move on. unless i manage me and my world properly, how can i think of contributing to anything larger...? - i believe relationships are very complex. and every r'ship has it's own dynamics. i don't take moral stand-points on r'ships and/or affairs anymore. i used to. till very recently. i believe i've come a long way from being a judgmental bitch to understanding that there may be hues that i neither see nor comprehend. and i leave them be. i no longer think of ppl who put themselves down for their partners as doormats. or ppl who have affairs while in a stable r'ship as bitches/bastards(Pardon the term). they have their own reasons. i simply don't judge. and i don't know how long this non-judgemental phase will last - but this is as close as i get to saintly! :D - i know that i will not lose my individuality. i used to be insecure about this. quite a bit. esp when i had just got out of BNCA. but now i'm sure. it's something that's me. it may change... it may get better or worse. but it will still, quintessentially, be me. - how patient i am about something depends directly on how beneficial that thing is to me. at least, how beneficial I perceive it to be for me. which is why i seem to lose interest in things rather soon. however, if i really want something, i can be extremely tenacious. to the point of being a pain in the backside for everybody around me. such things are rather few but these days tehy are getting to be so many taht V and I have decided that I should Stop making this "wishlist" of mine for a while, but they're absolutely worth it!

thought for the week....

titled thus, coz i can't think of a title for this piece... will change it if and when i do.

every girl dreams of getting married. at some point of time in our lives, we have all fantasized about our very own knight in shining armor/tux... on horseback or in convertibles... who'll whisk us away to the happy land of forever. those disney fairy tales, bollywood and chick-flicks only add to it as u're growing up. but life is not a fairy tale. and it doesn't end at marriage. it begins there.

and it is something that nothing conditions us for. we are not in the least prepared for what happens after. of all the expectations from us. of all the so-called responsibilities. and yes, it is more difficult for the woman. she is "expected" to embrace an entire new family. overnight, everything is supposed to change. and i agree, it changes for both... but it's the woman who has left her "home"... she's the one who can't expect tea in bed anymore. if the couple lives out of the country, when they go back to the country, they're supposed to stay at his place - visiting her parents. not fair? well, heck no! but that's the way it is, isn't it? i know, for a fact, that when i had a friend visiting India... and stayed with her parents... raised eyebrows.

things like "a woman should go to her in-laws house first" or "she must change her name when she marries" or "she now 'belongs' to her husband" or "her parents shouldn't be living with her permanently" are things that sound EXTREMELY regressive to me. but apparently, they're not. most parents of ppl i know "believe" that their daughter's house is not their house once she's married. they wouldn't stay there unless it's a visit or they have no other option. and i've heard this from so many relatives and family friends *wrt their daughters/sons* that it really stopped being funny.

why does this seem so normal to us.. that we either don't think about it much or totally dismiss it as a part of life? i know that i'm the wrong person to be doing this piece or asking these questions... i have accepted most of this... willingly, even... and i am quite happy. but that doesn't change anything, does it?
i never had issues about it before however, am having "thoughts" now.. just thoughts. in fact, i never thought about it. it was the way i was conditioned since i was a kid, i guess. everything in my upbringing conditioned me for the fact that someday i would leave my parents' home. not for a career, but by virtue of marriage. *i don't think "love" would be the appropriate word here* i still do not have issues. but that is because i've ended up being really lucky about my decisions. not smart, as i say i am... but merely lucky.

i had this dream last night it was the life after marriage...........i did leave behind my parents, my friends, my career and everything that i called "life" till that point... to be with V. and i was scared. the first 2 days in V's home were terrifying for me. but i wanted to run away to the security of my own house. my own room. everybody was really nice... but it was all so new for me. and i was SO unprepared. even the sharing a closet. yes, silly tiny detail... but i had NEVER shared my closet with anyone! and it was a big deal for me. i need some space when i wake up in the morn... and i didn't know whether i could still get it. whether i was wrong in expecting it. and i had NO idea how to deal with it. but, as always... ..." I am sure this is just a dream. As V says it should be done... or "it is done by somany women till date , you are not doing anything different"...but am dissapointed.. he does not understand the inner most feelings...I cannot explain...I myself do not understand...but am sure it will be difficult to handle.

what i don't u'stand is this: why is it that we are "okay" with moving out of our own homes... leaving our parents behind, so to speak... why don't we expect a guy to do all of this for us? and if we do... is that so wrong? if it's not wrong, why is it frowned upon?
or are we taught from a young age that we have to someday, move out of our homes, "adjust" to living with someone else's family...? it's the 0-point-something women living in metropolitan india who would understand *if, at all* that adjusting is not compromising. what about the rest? and we... the so-called educated, urban, smart... liberated and mostly, intelligent women. would we raise our children without such stereotypes? or is there some logic to all of this 'this isn't your home once u're married' crap, that maybe, i'm missing?

I read it somewhere the other day and then I thought about it for some time...and then we got into a discussion. on marriage. and now i'm rather confused. and he's abandoned me and gone off! so i'm posting this here... as an open discussion. let me know what you think.

I am

I am ambitious
- i want to make perfect chapatis from granulated, dark-brown, whole-grain wheat atta. *this, when i've recently learnt to cook*
- i want to make a 7-course meal for new years.
- i want to be "employed" soon.
- i want to write a book someday.

i am cute
- i comment on peoples appearances/behavior *i'm politically correct, tho* and when they over-hear, give them a puppy-face and say "that was a compliment". and they say "thank you" with a broad smile.
- i don't call V when he's at work even if i get locked out of d house. *i don't like disturbing him*
- i've already made my 'naughty or nice' list for santa and placed it in a stocking near a x'mas tree.

i am mean
- I make V spend time figuring out "what is wrong" when nothing actually is!

- i don't call/talk/mail people i do not like/get along with. *the list's pretty long!* i don't even answer their calls if they attempt calling me.

i am a dreamer
- i dream of spending every alternate weekend watching the sunset over the beach, with V.
- i dream of achieving the balance between a happy personal & a successful professional life. *yeah, i live in utopia*
- i dream of catching santa red-handed when he drops down d chimney on x'mas!
- i dream of how much fun my close frends would have, were they to come over to visit me.

i am myself. the way only i can be.

Happiness

What is it?
It can be the moment when we first started smiling..when we did not know why we are smiling or a time or an incident which makes you so happy that you cry!You cannot hold back the tears.
Everybody must have had this phase in life wherein you know you are going to be happy and smiling after that moment and you are looking forward to it..but once it gets closer and closer.. once you realize that you are about to achieve what you have longed for and strive hard for and the only best thing..the only precious and yearned moment of happiness.....
But,then do you experience a weird feeling of sadness and doubt?
A feeling which is protecting the happiness "pearl" by creating a hard shell of doubts and expectations and responsibility crisis?A shell which is making it hard to open and see that pearl ..
A shell that is created unknowingly to protect it and also knowingly because you are afraid that something will happen..something wrong will happen..
Self created thoughts..and doubts which are just trying to make you cautious in a way.. help you in getting a grip and and be rooted to the ground..help you maintain the importance of the moment probably.
The wisest thing to do would be not to get intimidated ...
Keep smiling once you achieve what you want and make sure the shell is not that hard that you loose the fun and enjoyment and exhaust all your energy keeping it safe.
Live in the moment ....

Status!

Status!

Was writing about the bailout and its implications and wondered what it is going to do /not do in India..how things are going to change.. but before that.. the current status

Fin moguls down

Bail outs offered but the ones 'bailing out' hardly know what they are doing

Buy outs happening overnight and the new owners are still grappling to find out what they bought

Someone told me yesterday about a grade A downtown office building in London that had Lehmann as a tenant and 4 year rentals were insured by AIG!

Elections

Sensex in 4 digits

A huge bear hug

And not knowing the extent of it all.

I read somewhere the other day that we are staring at the eye of the storm so we do not know the extent of havoc it is going to wreck.

Seems like even if we are able to assess the extent of this problem, we can solve it!

And then think about this time last year! I don't know whether that thought makes me nostalgic and euphoric and just simply sad!

I told a friend yesterday that in last few years of student life I have seen the best and now I am begining to prepare myself to see the worse of it all.It will be a good time to learn a lot but the worst time to find JOBS!

Anyone who thinks he/she is unaffected by all this is only living in a fool's paradise.

I still remember Mr. Colin dyer's (President and CEO, JLL) speech, roughly 11 months ago. After telling (most eloquently) about what is amazing about India as a market, as an opportunity and how he has always been told by one and all about how Indian economy is 'different', 'decoupled', 'immune to global financial shocks', 'not following trends as all the developed and emerging markets around the world' etc. he pulled out from his jacket pocket a coin. Flipped it and watched it as it fell to the ground. And he said, 'But India, too, has gravity! What goes up has to come down!'

How far down is the only question...

Maybe Warren Buffet knows...

the wait is still on......

I am really frustrated today,might be because of a lot of things/reasons, but the foremost one is the wait that is killing me literally.....
I am frustrated,and wierd "up there"...dont know how and what to do....
Have you people experienced this ever, that the only thing you want to happen takes ages to come into or happen the way you want to.. i am really reallly sad today............................................................................